Summer Schedule Squeeze

It's inevitable, by the first of April each year I'm having to open my planner to the summer months and pencil in the first few warm weather engagements of the year, and by the end of May I'm having to pencil over the previous pencil just to fit everything on the calendar. Our summer days, especially the ones beginning in S are spoken for before summer itself even begins. I don't know if we're any busier now than our families were as children, I don't quite recall, but perhaps that's because, basically we strive to lead a similar family life to the one our parents lead at the time. Whatever it is, it has left me wondering lately about the effects of busily-scheduled summer days and the trend we seem to be seeing and hearing of more and more, even now, as more traditional values start to make their way slowly back into the homes of many Americans.

It all started when I recently overheard a conversation between a few friends, one of the women, we'll call her Mrs. B, in response to another of the lady's question about their children's summer schedules responded with what sounded more to me like a rigid list of must-do's and go-here's and there's than the fun summer days I most enjoyed as a child, and the ones that my girls enjoy to this day. As she rattled off her list of lessons, and practices, summer school classes, and bible schools they had signed all three of their young children up for I couldn't help but feel at the least a bit disheartened. Mrs. B has always been a woman I have admired.

As we drove home that evening the scenario replayed in my head, why was I so stuck on this simple conversation, a conversation that I technically didn't even have a part in, certainly not an active part, anyway. As if he had been reading my mind my husband looked over at me, "Mrs. B sure sounds like she's keeping those kids busy this summer!" He said a little sarcastically. I wasn't sure how to reply. "Yeah." It never fails to amaze me the silly little things that can at times make us question our every move as parents.

Over the next few days I thought, and thought some more about the subject. We carried on with life as usual, and as I watched the girls play solo and with each other, unstructured, I couldn't help but wonder if I should have been structuring more of their days. Were they being allowed too much free time? A bit of parental guilt may have even set in, ok it definitely set in. I rationalized that much of the day was structured, just not in a school-house way, or a scheduled way, but structured nonetheless. We still had breakfast about the same time each morning, lunch about the same time each afternoon, naptime after lunch, and play times in between. And, so, we continued on without changes, me with a bit of rationalization but not much resolution.

It wasn't until this evening as I watched the Princess and Pea play in the side yard that I fully realized the utter silliness of my fixation on the cram-packed schedule that Mrs. B had so proudly listed off for the other mothers that day. As I watched them run wildly after the bubbles that I blew I couldn't help but be taken back to a time when I enjoyed the very same simple pleasures on warm summer afternoons. When ice cream stains, and bubble residue on my hands were the very biggest of my worries and responsibilities. Most of all I couldn't help but revel in the knowledge that the happy smiles on my daughters' faces were in response to the very same luxury that we are allowing them.

I will never doubt the importance of some structure in a child's day, routines to help them swing into and out of their days, even. However, on the very same token, I will never forget the sheer pleasure of unstructured freedom, or the amazing power it has to shape some of the best experiences of our lives, at least not when I'm thinking clearly.


Parenting, Summer, Life, Personal