An Open Letter to Kohls Shoppers

Dearest Fellow Kohl's Shoppers,

This letter is penned specifically for those of you shopping sans small children this holiday season. As you may have noticed upon entering the very busy store, Kohl's has a limited number of carts available to their shoppers (the fact that you had to wrestle one away from another woman was probably your first clue. Obscure, I know.) Also as you may have noticed Kohls' carts come in a variety of types, some are baskets on wheels (these are meant for you!), then there are some with a single stroller seat in front of the basket on wheels (these are meant for ME!) and then there are some with double stroller seats (these are meant for people with more than one small child!).

In the future I'd like to urge you, sans-small-children shoppers, to use only the carts with just the basket on wheels, do not take one of the stroller carts. While I am aware that holiday shopping is quite the sport please do not take Nike literally, do NOT do it. Because so help me Tom Cruise, if I see another one of your lazy asses with a stroller full of socks for pops topped with a bright pink robe for Grandma and no small child in tow while I drag a just-turned three year-old around aforementioned very busy store on foot... Well, lets just say it is not going to be pretty.

What's the matter? No regular carts available when you came in? Since you may have missed them I'd like to make note that Kohl's also has available to their shoppers a plethora of nice, big, sturdy bags to be used while shopping. They hang right near the front door - use one - Pops' socks don't weigh that much. Besides, I imagine the store manager would be much less pissy about you using one for your socks than she was when I tried to use one for my three-year old.